Alone?
by TroyandAbed
Summary: Steve is feeling alone after the event of Avenger 1. But he is not alone. Just a little h/c about Steve.


**Hi guys ! i wanted to write something about Tony and Steve's friendship and it came out as a one-shot.** **I like the singer Patrick Watson and one of his songs was perfect for what I had in mind. So i wrote something around the song. The song is called** _ **Noisy Sunday**_ **and I will put the lyrics in the story (in italics between dashes). It is set after Avengers 1.**

 **Sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes.**

 **I do not own any of the character of the Marvel Universe nor the song and its lyrics.**

 **Enjoy!**

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Steve trashed and turned in his bed, trapped in his own nightmare. He was breathing fast and sweat was beading up on his forehead. It was yet the same dream all over again.

He was dancing with Peggy, her red lips forming a smile and her eyes drowning in his own. Everything was in black and white except for Peggy's lips and eyes. He was so happy with her by his side, turning and dancing along the smooth rhythm of the jazz song. It was so perfect, no need for words, just her and him. The war was over and they were celebrating. The party was set in a huge ball room with bright lights. There were tables where people were chatting, and a stage with the group. Waiters moved smoothly around with plates of food and glasses of Champagne. The majority of people were in the center of the room dancing like Peggy and Steve. He didn't even trip on her foot or he didn't notice for he was so joyful in this moment.

Around them was the Howling Commandos enjoying the company of pretty ladies, singing and laughing together like they were in any bar and not in a gorgeous ball room with jazz music. Among them, Bucky was smiling and laughing too. He was flirting with one of the ladies, telling her jokes and anecdotes about skinny little Steve before the serum. Having all those people around him, all the ones he loved made Steve the happiest man in the universe.

But suddenly, he tripped on his own foot and tumbled backward releasing his grip on Peggy. However, instead of falling on the ground, he kept on falling in an endless hole.

The gap was filling itself with ice stopping him from falling further anymore but the ice was slowly creeping on him. Steve couldn't breathe. His lungs were filling with ice and it was spreading in all his body. He could feel every inch of himself freezing. He couldn't move anymore and ice was surrounding him. Ice. Ice. Ice was everywhere. He tried to call for help but nothing came out of his mouth. Just more ice was settling in. And soon ice was blocking his sight. He couldn't see, couldn't breathe and couldn't move. But he could hear. He could hear all those screams from Peggy, from Bucky, from the Howling commandos. Screaming for help. Bucky dying all over again and calling for Steve. Peggy begging him to come back to her. He was stuck forever with all those cries.

He was panicking and air wouldn't enter his lungs. And the darkness swallowed his entire being. Steve was alone and cold one more time. The darkness. _Not again, please, not again..._

He woke up with a start and jolted out of bed wanting to escape the darkness surrounding him. Cold sweat was drenching his back and he was breathing too fast. He retrieved in a corner and sat on the floor clutching his legs to his chest. He buried his head in his knees and tried to calm down and control his breath.

 _-It's late in the night  
It's late in the night for a start-_

Calmly, Steve raised his head from his knees and glanced by the window in front of him. He has a beautiful view of the city from the Stark Tower. After the Chitauri disaster, Tony had offer the Avengers to stay in his tower since there was plenty of room and they needed to be close to one another if that kind of emergency happened again.

So here he was, contemplating the view of New York at 3 in the morning. It was so quiet. No screams, no desperate yells. Just silence. But that was beginning to eat him too. Switching from too much noise to complete silence so roughly was not a good idea. It just reminded him that he was alone in a world he didn't know anymore. He left a world that just started to accept him and woke up in another that _he_ had a hard time to accept.

 _-It's quiet again  
Too much for noise to go on-_

Steve stood up and took a few deep breaths. He couldn't go back to sleep, that was out of the question. So he decided to take a shower to clear his mind. He let the hot water roll down his shoulders and back. Closing his eyes, he savoured the heat he was wrapped in, forgetting the coldness of his dream, of his _memories._ He let his mind escape but every time it ended up drifting back to his nightmare. He felt like he lost Peggy and Bucky again, and therefore was mourning them once more.

He was so tired of being sad and lonely. Despite the proximity of the others in the tower, he never felt so lonely. They just get along with one another except him. He was out of time and felt lost. Moreover, with all the Chitauri disaster being taken care of, he didn't have a goal anymore. During the battle he had his mind off his past, preoccupied by the city. But now, he had all the time to think about _them_ , the ones he loved.

He stepped out of the shower and dressed with a white t-shirt and loose trousers. He was standing in front of his bed staring at his empty room. He felt tears welling up behind his eyes and he let them roll down his cheeks. Nobody was here to see him cry after all. He was crying silently letting go of Captain America for the moment and just be Steve. The sound of him breathing was the only thing filling the room.

 _-To fill up the space  
To fill up the rooms on Sunday afternoon_  
 _For your lovely ears-_

He took one deep breath and wiped the tears away. He decided to go grab some water or something in the kitchen, to clear his mind and take some fresh air. The young man stepped outside his room and walked slowly toward the kitchen. He had to go through the living room to reach it. Everything was quiet. They were all in their quarters probably sleeping, except for maybe Tony who could be in his lab inventing new gadgets for the team. But Steve didn't really care right now. All the lights were out and the room was plunged into darkness. It made Steve uncomfortable. He kept on walking without further looking at what was surrounding him, or rather what was _not_ surrounding him. _Bucky... Peggy... No one._

He entered the kitchen and grabbed a glass in a cupboard. He filled it with water and drank the whole content in one gulp. He filled it again and drank it as fast as the one before. Now his hands were shaking and he was breathing heavily. _Come on Steve. What's happening to you? Compose yourself and man up!_ He refused to let his emotions overwhelm him one more time. But, he didn't know why, the tears were just behind his eyes, ready to fall. Why was he so overwhelmed tonight? Why was he stuck in this emotion circle? It seemed like tonight he couldn't escape his feelings, like they wouldn't go away. But he had moved on, had forgotten _them_. He had to face this world alone, he was really ready to face it...

Not so ready...

 _Oh hell!_

He was alone in the kitchen and nobody would care anyway, so he sank to the floor, back against one wall. He drew his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. Putting his head in his lap, Steve let all the tears escape his eyes and cried silently. His shoulders were moving up and down to the rhythm of his sobs.

 _-Waiting for something to break this calm-_

"Steve ?"

He froze but didn't look up. Tony had been working in his lab and had wanted a little snack before resuming his work. The scientist had been watching the soldier for a while. Now that the battle was over, he noted some restraint from him. He was distant with the others and didn't talk much. Tony won't admit it, but he was a little concerned. But he thought that if Steve needed to talk, he would ask for help. However now, watching Steve sobbing and all the pain leaking through his tears, he realised his huge mistake. He didn't know the man for long but he should have seen this. Should have understood. Captain America won't ask for help. He won't show his weaknesses. But the more Tony looked at Steve, the more he realise how young he was. He couldn't carry all those weights alone.

 _-Send you my love in the sound-_

"It's okay" Tony said.

He sat down next to Steve so their shoulders were touching. He couldn't imagine the pain from living in another world, leaving all the ones he loved behind... It wasn't okay at all. But Steve wasn't alone and he had to understand it. That's why Tony was here.

 _-Send you my love in the sound-_

"It will be okay"

Steve didn't say a word neither raised his head to look at Tony, but gradually the tears stopped and he just listened to Tony's breathing. Maybe he was not so alone after all. Maybe he will really move on. Maybe he will be okay.

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 **Hope you enjoyed! Please leave a comment just to tell me what you thought.**

 **Live Long And Prosper**


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